Author: Claire Chilton
SHE’S FINALLY MANAGED TO SUMMON HER FIRST DEMON…
Dora Carridine is trying to summon a demon, but she’s not very good at Latin and nothing ever works out the way she plans.
Her life is fraught with weekly exorcisms and having to watch her father’s fire and brimstone TV show every Sunday. So, when Dora finally succeeds in summoning an incompetent demon lord, she’s absolutely delighted when all hell breaks loose.
She thought summoning a sexy demon lord would be the answer to all of her problems, but her problems are only just beginning when her zealot parents try to burn her at the stake, and Dora is left with only one option—to escape and follow her demon straight into Hell.
MY REVIEW. BEWARE, POSSIBLE SPOILERS.
Here I was, wandering aimlessly through the YA section of NetGalley, looking for something to pique my interest… and then I noticed this. The summary intrigued me. I was so excited when I was accepted to read it a couple hours later. So I sat down with my iPad and began…
Dora is the daughter of an overzealous priest and an ex-stripper (Do priests even marry?). She uses some magic spell book and summons an incompetent demon into her bedroom, who is the equivalent of a horny thirteen year old boy that mentions how much he wants to bang her practically every sentence. She shoves him into her closet just as her father bangs down her door and tries to exercise a demon out of her. Then the whole town is outside, wanting to kill her. When these religious nutjobs try to burn her at stake, she escapes to Hell with her new demonic twelve year old horny boyfriend.
Cringe-able and horrific, and not in a good way. The word “Fuck” is dropped around in every sentence, and words for five year olds, like poop. I can’t decide if Chilton wanted to make a children’s book or try and be eloquent as a sailor.
In case you’re wondering, here’s my thoughts during the story:
10% – Well maybe this is Chilton’s first novel and the beginning isn’t great. It’s happened before right? It can only get better from here.
20% – I’m not that far in, it’ll get better.
30% – It’ll get better! I hope.
40% – …. it’s not getting better
50% – What is this
60% – Is this satirical or just bad?
70% – This is one of those Wattpad novels that is poorly written yet still somehow gets attention. It has to be.
80% – *googles* oh my god, this is on Wattpad? I was right? *texts Emma about this atrocity*
82% – I can’t. My brain cells are slowly deteriorating. *exits out of book, angry*
There you have it. I really, really hope this work was meant to be satirical, otherwise it was probably the worst I’ve read this year, and I’ve read some bad books.
Note: Not ALL Wattpad novels are bad. I was there for a time, and met my best friend there. But everything on the popular list is USUALLY crap. Not always. But you have to admit a majority of it is.