Existence – Abbi Glines

13223520

Author: Abbi Glines

Rating: 1/5

Synopsis

What happens when you’re stalked by Death? You fall in love with him, of course.

Pagan Moore doesn’t cheat Death, but instead, falls in love with him.

Seventeen year old Pagan Moore has seen souls her entire life. Once she realized the strangers she often saw walking through walls were not visible to anyone else, she started ignoring them. If she didn’t let them know she could see them, then they left her alone. Until she stepped out of her car the first day of school and saw an incredibly sexy guy lounging on a picnic table, watching her with an amused smirk on his face. Problem is, she knows he’s dead.

Not only does he not go away when she ignores him, but he does something none of the others have ever done. He speaks. Pagan is fascinated by the soul. What she doesn’t realize is that her appointed time to die is drawing near and the wickedly beautiful soul she is falling in love with is not a soul at all.

He is Death and he’s about to break all the rules.

READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. IN THE IMMORTAL WORDS OF RIVER SONG, “SPOILERS!”

This book.

This… is a book?

It was published?

Really?

Before I tell you all the things I disliked about this, let me start with the name “Dank”

Not that Pagan, the protagonist, is much better. Everyone has normal names. Kendra, Wyatt, Leif (well, not that off the wall), Miranda.

Then you have this girl named Pagan who sees ghosts. These ghosts don’t harm her in any way. They can’t possess her or kill her, but she’s so freaking scared of them half the time, it’s unbelievable. It’s like being scared of a piece of paper.

This was soooo badly edited. So many run ons, ridiculous dialoges that fit 30 year olds better than 16-17 year old high school students, characterization problems, etc. And italics? Whatever happened to italics when it comes to a characters thoughts? But alas, we have <<thoughts here>> which is weird. Not that it happened on anything more than one page, but it was off. There’s spelling and grammatical errors here and there.

This must be self-published. It reeks of self publication. Not that anything is wrong with self-publishing, but clean up your story before you go off charging 10 bucks on amazon for a book that’s thinner than a pencil. I remember recieving this in the mail and I was thinking it must be some mistake. It’s less than 200 pages, and only took me like a couple hours to read.

And the plot?

What plot? It’s like Bella Swan was copy and pasted into this story, changing her name. Dank – ugh, repulsive name – can’t be with girl. Why? He just can’t. Because he’s Death. Like, the Grim Reaper. I’m sorry, I imagined a grimm reaper to look more like that one episode of Supernatural.

112

A hot grimm reaper. Original. But anyway, back to Bella Pagan. Dank hangs out in her bedroom uninvited. Goes on and on about how he has to protect her and how she’s seared onto his heart because hes never met anyone like her. Really, dude, you’re Death. Been around since the beginning of time, and you’ve never met an annoying, shallow 40 year old woman in a 17 year olds body? Never?

The villian? A joke. A crazy chick who wants her dead because Dank saved her in a accident where she was meant to die. So she tries, but Dank tells Pagan it’s alright, because only he can kill her. Cause, y’kno, he IS Death.

Golly. How romantic.

But alas, Pagan has a breakdown and is shipped off to a mental institution for a few pages cause shes so utterly in love with Dank she lays around in bed and doesn’t go to school or come out of her room. What a healthy relationship.

A character with dyslexia? Let’s read how bitchy Pagan is, acting all surprised because – gasp! – someone with a learning disability who makes A’s? How utterly impossible?

Pagan randomly diagnosed with PTSD because she freaked out like a looney tune for all of five minutes and locked herself in her room thinking about Dank.

Sigh.

Oh no. Let’s throw in some random-as-hell-and-doesnt-make-any-sense cliffhanger in the VERY LAST SENTENCE. “idk how to tell you this, but… yo boyfraaan ain’t hooman, guh.”

The end.

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2 Comments

  1. That’s how it actually ends? I have to say that this was highly entertaining to read xD

    Reply

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